Opening Up the Conversation
by Diana Morley
I'm finding that opening up a conversation to the subject of the attacks--with
clients, co-workers, neighbors, and acquaintences in the park every
morning--has opened up some thought processes.
People often begin by repeating what they've heard around them and
in the news (we must retaliate swiftly, we must put an end to terrorism,
we must rid the world of ben Ladin and the like) but when I suggest
the difficulty of ending terrorism with a strike of force because it
would create martyrs, and inspire new followers to lead, others often
back down and readily admit that it's not that simple. I point out that
Afghan parents love their children too, and my friends then look down
at the ground and nod, saying that they hope it would never come to
THAT. But they've seen the possibility that's been hidden and had to
acknowledge it.
I think that merely helping others find that thoughtful state within
them and giving permission for it to come out, despite the emphasis
on toughness all around them, is important. It gives strength to their
inner thoughts and shifts their outward perspective a bit. If many,
many people experience such a shift, our government's show of force
won't receive the outward support it might otherwise.
And when I point out that Falwell and Robertson's Christian extremism,
which has led followers to bomb abortion clinics and kill doctors, would
hardly be reason for anyone to bomb the South in the regions where they
live, my friends laugh at the absurdity and again, must make a connection
that brings the matter back home.
We have an environment, already, in which not going along with the
crowd raises a general fear that can interfere with clear thinking.
I suggest that addressing this difficult subject with others, rather
than respecting their silence, may help them clarify their own thinking
a bit and therefore show another kind of respect.
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